is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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