Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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