Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
operation harelip BJ is a go
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
