I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
