Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
