i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
