I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
