She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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