I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
