i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
