but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
