Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
