dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
