I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
