so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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