my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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