You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
