so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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