do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
