I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
