I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
