How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
