so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
