Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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