soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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