I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
