You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
