This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize