Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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