Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
