jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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