This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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