It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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