who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
