I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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