All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
