that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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