went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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