She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
