do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
