sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
