i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
