u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
