walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
