why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
