giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
