wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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