On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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