so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He passed out mid-signature
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Are we still banned from the library?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
