Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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